It's always so hard to be vulnerable and ask for help. There are feelings of fear and embarrassment and the ego gets in the way of asking for support. But, it doesn't mean you aren't cool, tough enough or good enough. It just means you need support. And, this trip has really tested me already. I think of all the people who have helped me in so many ways already on this trip - from hosting me in their homes, to pointing out the closest post office or ice cream store ;) to bringing me bike supplies (Rhonda and Jon) to getting me a new trailer flag (Kari).
Today, I left Wisdom knowing I had 93 miles to get to Twin Bridges, location of two packages waiting for me. With new tires. I left Wisdom at 6:30am in pouring rain, all geared up. About 10 miles into the 18 to Jackson, it started to snow on me. Like rain/snow mix. And, temp dropped. By the time I was a mile from Jackson, I was concerned about frostbite on my left foot. Even with shoe covers on. I had my helmet cover on even. I have the gear. But, I was collecting slush on everything... My thighs, arms, feet. I got to Jackson, no Rainbow People in sight (their gathering is in this area this year and as a result of up to 30,000 people coming into this area, police have told people not to pick up hitchhikers and they have warned cyclists to watch their gear and not travel alone). When people are hungry, desperate and believe they are entitled to rob, vandalize and ruin the land, it's not a safe place to be. The Jackson Hot Springs Lodge took care of me. I walked in and they offered me hot coffee, a buffet breakfast and warming up by the fire. At that point, I called for help. I was cold and nervous about continuing on and the lodge had no vacancy tonight. I could hang out here, but no rooms. And, nothing else in town but camping. And, there's currently an inch of snow on the ground. I changed into dry, warm clothes, drank my coffee by the fire, and talked to the amazing CA crew I met last week. Margie, Terri, Mike and Ray. They were coming to my rescue! I hate putting people out. It means that 1-2 of them can't ride today as a result of coming back 2 hours to grab me. But, I have to believe if they didn't want to do it or couldn't have, they would have told me so... Right? I still feel humbled, but I did it. I asked for help. Once I knew they were on their way, I broke down in tears. I was scared out there. And now I feel relieved. Between the weather (soon to warm up), being alone, Rainbow Gathering, bum tire and 93 miles to go to get to my new tires... I just had to ask for help. And someday, I'll be able to reciprocate for someone else. (See photos below)
If there was one thing that has made a huge impact over the last few years on me asking for help, sharing my 'secrets', opening up and communicating more effectively, it'd be as a result of seeing this video sent to me by my friend Therese while I was going through my divorce. It's 20 minutes. And totally worth the watch. Trust me. See "The Power of Vulnerability" by Brene Brown, http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DiCvmsMzlF7o
