Jess' Super Bowl Commercial Rules

Ok, since this Super Bowl isn't really holding my attention, here are my arbitrary commercial criteria if I were to be in charge of the NFL… which would be impossible since I'm not even a football fan. But, I figure I should do something in between the commercials. I love watching sports, but football? No comment. 

All Super Bowl commercials will...

  • never use talking animals (pigs, bears, etc)
  • be 30 seconds max
  • make me laugh until I have an asthma attack or cry until I have tears
  • not advertise upcoming movies
  • use cute kids

And finally, the station that is awarded the Super Bowl should have a contest (applications scored using a scoring rubric, of course). Winning organization gets $1 million to film a 30 second commercial and airing commercial is no cost. The organization needs to improve the lives of a certain number of Americans. Winning organization does not have the ability to pay for an advertising spot themselves… How cool would that be? 

Ok, it's about halftime. Time to begin watching…